server-side

Hi
i've searched in the forum for examples on using server side data do fill a table with jquery/php/mysql/ajax, and i found several different ways of doing it, as well as adding extra columns, i.e. an actions column to add edit/delete/view buttons for each row.
i have to confess that i'm finding this a little bit confusing... can anyone point me out a clear example of interacting with database? thanks...
one other question: anyone knows if themeforest themes pointed here are the only ones or the best ones to interact with datatables?
thanks a lot!