How to add only new rows without reload them all?

Hi! How can i configure datatables to add only the new rows inserted in the database and update rows to reflect database changes?
i should use the fnAdd/DeleteRow function api and manage all by myself or does exists some automated process and/or specific configuration to listen what happens in the db?
i dont' need to append but insert only the new rows in the right position..

i'm sorry if this question has been already asked but i cant find a search option in this forum, maybe i've missed it or is not present at all?
thanks..